Our "Proverbial" Line in the Sand...
AKA Who This Community Is (and Isn’t) For
When I say “think like a liar,” I’m not telling you to lie - I’m telling you to look hard the subtext and full context of the situation at hand, and decide how to engage or disengage without your body making the choice for you.
And, so, in that way, it’s an invitation to open your mind to the other reasons, influences, and circumstances that might be influencing how someone aggressive is behaving toward you so that you can regain a semblance of choice in how you move next.
This is the cornerstone of the community we’re building here together - support on-purpose for kind and emotionally intelligent people who are 100% committed to emotionally healing from the traumatic things that never should’ve happened to us.
Here, in many ways together, we’re learning to spot repeating patterns of manipulation, red flags we’re often told to ignore, and the psychological “tells” that once kept us trapped in cycles of harm.
And the truth about doing the work necessary to heal is that you can’t do it in a space that doesn’t feel safe or isn’t safe yet, so SAFETY is the primary focus here.
Why? Simply put - in order to move ourselves out of the downward spiral we experience during trauma, we have to protect the structure that contains the spiral itself - the person experiencing it... (More on that later)
So, based on all of that, here are the rules of engagement for this space:
This Community IS For You If…
You’re a survivor of relational trauma. You’ve dealt with the fallout of toxic relationship dynamics with people you loved and/or cared about deeply, and you’re ready to rebuild trust with yourself again.
You’re navigating your personal healing journey from Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD). You know that healing isn’t a straight line. You’re looking for the “Therapy Talk Translator” version of why your brain does what it does.
You’re an ally or member of the LGBTQIA+ community. This is a space where your identity is respected, period.
You’re an emotionally safe person. You value self-awareness, you’re committed to the hard work of not projecting your past wounds onto others in this space, and you DO NOT attempt to use this community for your personal gain (Ex. for ego-stroking, to build a personal brand, to sell literally anything, or to attempt to exploit in any way, etc.).
You believe in harm-free communication. You understand that we can disagree on perspectives without attacking each other’s personhood. You also understand that if you engage in misgendering, coded language, hate speech or bigotry of any kind, you will be immediately removed from the community without being refunded.
This Community IS NOT For You If…
You use the words “difference of opinion” as a shield for any kind of bigotry. We don’t debate human rights here. Racism, ableism, homophobia, transphobia, and misogyny are not “belief systems”, they’re forms of abuse and harm. If you practice them, practice them elsewhere. It doesn’t play here.
You have a superiority complex.
If you came here with a degree (or a few degrees) and you think that your traditional education makes you “better than” other human beings living through the life impacts of trauma every single day, this is not the community for you.
If you make posts anywhere or give short speeches no one asked for about how the lived experience of trauma survivors isn’t “valid enough” to be shared as advice for other people living through similar trauma, this is not the community for you.
If you genuinely believe spending time in a clinical space with people suffering means you are in any way, shape, or form “better than” those people, this is not the community for you. Seriously, get a clue and do better. Just not here.
If you came here from a highly-active, faith-based upbringing or community and think you’re somehow better than anyone else here for any reason other than God came down here himself and told all of us you were on film, and you hold that particular receipt, this is not the community for you.
You’re looking for a place to “troll”, vent aggressively, complain, or be confidently and aggressively incorrect about anything a quick internet search could educate you on. While we honour anger as a stage of healing, we don’t tolerate aggression toward others here.
You believe your “intentions” matter more than your “impact.” In this space, we take responsibility for the harm we cause, even if it was accidental… and the expectation is, since we’re all adults, you take self-accountability for the whole of how you behave in here & with the people you meet here when outside of this community. If not, we’ll help you.
You’re uncomfortable with inclusivity. If the inclusion of all marginalized groups feels like a “political” issue to you rather than a human safety issue, respectfully, this isn’t the right fit. Be well & be elsewhere, because you aren’t going to like it here.
The Zero-Tolerance Policy
Let’s be direct: Intolerance is not a belief system supported here.
To “think like a liar” is to see through the masks. We see through the mask of “polite debate” when it is actually being used to marginalize others. We have zero tolerance for intolerance because safety is the prerequisite for the work we do.
If you are here to heal, to decode the past, and to build a future rooted in radical self-honesty and mutual respect - welcome home.
I’m glad you’re here. Let’s dig into it.
xo,
Dee