Community Boundaries, Values & Morals AKA How to participate like a kind villager committed to helping...
Yes, you have to follow these to be a participant here, and no it's not optional. Just to be perfectly clear.
The Villager’s Code: How We Show Up for Each Other
Building a “bigot-free” and “harm-free” space isn’t just about what we don’t do; it’s about the active culture we create together. To be a safe villager here, we ask that you commit to these core communication practices.
1. Lead with “Emotional Responsibility”
In this village, we acknowledge that while our triggers are not our fault, our healing is our responsibility.
What we do: Before hitting “reply” during a moment of activation, ask yourself: “Am I responding to the person in front of me, or am I responding to a situation/person from my past?” Safe villagers strive to share their experiences without projecting their trauma onto others.
2. Practice “Curiosity Over Conflict”
Differences in belief systems are inevitable, but they don’t have to lead to harm.
What we do: When someone shares a perspective that feels foreign or challenging, try to ask a clarifying question before offering a criticism. We seek to understand the human behind the thought.
3. Protect the Perimeter (The Zero-Tolerance Rule)
A safe village requires active gatekeeping. We do not tolerate intolerance because it is a direct threat to the nervous systems of our neighbours.
What we do: If you see shame-based aggression, bigotry, or a lack of respect for the LGBTQIA+ community, you don’t have to engage in a “debate.” Report it or flag it. We don’t negotiate with harm; we remove it to keep the village safe.
4. Use the “Translator” for Kindness
Sometimes “honesty” is used as a weapon. In this space, we use our words to build, not to tear down.
What we do: Practice “Therapy Talk” in real life, so instead of saying, “You’re dead wrong!” try, “My experience with that is different.”
In this way you prioritize clarity and boundaries over being “right.”
5. Honour your spiral
Everyone in this village is at a different point in their healing journey. Some are just starting to “unmask,” while others have been “spiraling up” for years.
What we do: Meet people where they are. Offer the grace you wish you had received when you were at your most vulnerable point.
The Villager’s Promise: By being here, you are agreeing to be a guardian of this space. You are choosing to be someone who makes it easier - not harder - for the person next to you to heal from CPTSD.